love this

good song

makes sense… listen

ed

wow… it been a while… and im finally out of my binge beating phase thank god…
back to fasting and restricting… id be just fasting but im currently in psych and they know about my ed but i have my tricks 😉
im drinking powerade zero hoping it will help my electrolytes and blood pressure…
im on a overnight pass at the moment and havent eaten … i dont even think about food / eating anymore really…
i am however going to be starting op treatment on monday… scared but i just want to get to a point where im not fainting etc…
im losing pretty fast which makes me happy and it is good since i am overweight still….
im just so happy the binge eating is gone after a year of struggling with it
happy to be back… peace and love

k

Touch and go

I’m losing weight again which is good at my weight but of course I’m doing it by purging and restricting.  I disgust myself.  159.2 lbs @ 5’3.  This means war!
I’m struggling with and embracing ed again. 
I know that sounds crazy and irrational but it’s true.
Otherwise I’m ok. Almost 5 months clean and sober and several months self harm free.
I’m so grateful for everyone in my life today…. the ones who are truly in my life.
Trauma therapy is ok so far…. preparing for the memory work.  Amazing therapist.  Very grateful.  She has a blog here http://www.worthit2bme.com

Check it out if you struggle with complex trauma or ptsd.

Peace

Kait

True

Fat and out of control and so disgusting and embarrassed and it’s hard to leave the house.  I hate this. I hate me. I’m so self conscious I hate to be seen in public but I don’t have the option of staying home. The show must go on and life does go on. Hard to find a reason to go on sometimes.  Sorry. … just thinking in writing. I am also truly grateful for amazing people in my life.

Peace

just the way it is…….

So…. i hit a high trigger weight of 150 (5’3)
So…. im trying to stop b/p and now im restricting …. probably too low, idk
im ednos/osfed plus struggle with complex trauma which im in therapy for
im not ready for ed recovery
i am recovering from alcoholism and drug addiction…. i have just over a month clean/sober 🙂
my moods lately are way out of whack…. and im on a lot of meds
i see the psychiatrist this week though
i want off all my meds to see how ill do… ive been on meds since age 17…. im now 33
im from and live in bc canada 🙂
i currently have a head cold too and im waiting for addictions treatment hopefully soon
i hope to though that i get over this cold before going in….
current stats:
hw-180
lw-89.6 twice
cw-144.8
ugw-85 (bmi-15.1)

height…well im vertically challenged lol and im 5’3 barely
i am currently overweight according to me and my bmi

thats all i got for now

peace

True

Check out @notevenalive’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/notevenalive/status/349889874658205697?s=09

Mia

I have hit my highest trigger weight again. Bulimia is back and I hate it.  I’ve gone back to restricting for now. I’m not ready or even willing to recover from Ed right now.  I feel and look disgusting.  So that’s where I’m at with that.

As for recovery from addiction,  I’m almost one month clean and sober. Super willing , determined and waiting to get into treatment.  Wait list is 4-12 weeks. I’ve been on the list since April 1st. …. so hopefully soon.

Otherwise things are a little chaotic with appointments,  groups, church, and trauma work.

I am super grateful for all the support in my life. I really am truly blessed.

Love and peace

Check this out on Pinterest.

Douglas Alves graphic art – http://pinterest.com/pin/172684966938195315/?s=3&m=wordpress

Therapeutic Window of Tolerance

im in a constant state of hyper lately…..

Therapeutic Window of Tolerance.

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